Watched this AMAZING lecture last night on dvd, Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting". I was blown away hearing the words and thoughts that have sprinted through my mind before, and lingered in my heart. What always gets in my way are my needs for instant gratification: I NEED THE HOUSE TO BE QUIET!, or IT'S NOT CONVENIENT RIGHT NOW, SO PLEASE DON'T! Why didn't we watch this before? No regrets, just happiness that I've seen it now. Like other great teachings in life, it woke me up! to some frightening realizations.
So yeah, I'm a parent! I have these two amazing daughters, Hannah & Clementine, and I feel I have largely pushed them aside for awhile now for my own need to 'be happy' or some semblance of that desire. Getting that goal accomplished often meant feeling oppressed when they've been around. It's unsettling to say. Perhaps I am wont to play my cards so it looks like other influences lead me to these choices. I refuse to neglect my own hand in this. These girls are under my care; they deserve more. I feel a deep understanding that these girls are companions in life --- and together we can be active in life and loving.
Yes. The spring is a hopeful time, and during this tumultuous time, I am pleased to make some proudmama steps towards getting to know my children more. Allowing us to enjoy one another.
4 comments:
I understand fully how easy it is to push them aside. I have been guilty of that so many times over, and not so much for the "being happy" issue, but feeling so overwhelmed by the life and the tasks I have (inadvertently) chosen. I often times feel oppressed just because I wonder if and how and how much I am failing them. And because sometimes it is so overwhelming I find myself checking out...
I am so going to find a copy of that dvd. :)
The good news is, you can always have a clean slate with your babies and start right over.
You will never regret it.
(Some of us will even play cards with you with them. :))
yeah, it's really SUCH an eyeopener. i mean, i am fairly malleable if you talk smoothly and appeal to my heart in some fashion. honestly though, it was MOVING to rethink some methods i've used.
and as for cards, ms. chey, YESYESYEYYESYEYYESSSSSS PLEASE!
again, is it easier to understand why we don't praise children for doing things that are normal and expected? :) seriously, he is right on. RIGHT ON.
I wish I could be that type of parent. I just bribed Bailey with money for grades. :( Alfie would be so disappointed in me.
GOOD JOB!
Post a Comment