my love affair with woody allen (pt. 4)

The Horrors of Adultery

I was really going to take a break from all this Woody talk, but I can’t. I’m just not done yet. There are too many things that need to be said about his movies. I’ll get back to my drivel about art-making and parenting, and listings of love --- trust me. For now though, I can think of little else than movies, and when it comes down to it, my obsession with film truly arose out of loving Woody Allen’s films.

Today’s topic: CHEATING! It’s almost as if Woody thinks it’s as natural as sneezing. This is an inevitable feat. Men do it unconsciously. Women do it too, out of a need to be fulfilled. As an adulterer himself, it should not be any surprise that a good 10 of his films deal extensively with the subject, while still more have it incorporated into particular subplots.

Sometimes it tears someone up when they’re cheating (like in Manhattan or Vicky Cristina Barcelona). Others of course, it does not. What’s fascinating to me is the amount of times the adultery is NOT discovered. In Mighty Aphrodite, Crimes and Misdemeanors, and Hannah and Her Sisters, while the wives could suspect their husbands to be running around on them, Woody decides to cut the relationships off have the wedded couples reunite and let the secrets stay just that. Is this what happens in life?

In both Alice (1990) and Husbands and Wives (1992), the adultery is discovered and a huge confrontation occurs. Alice a fantastic, although often overlooked Allen film centers on Mia plays a woman who had high hopes as young woman to ‘do something’, but instead married (VERY) well. She goes a bit crazy being a good wife and mother and getting herself from massages to hair appointments. A friend of hers sends her to a Chinese herbalist (who has a shop on Doyers St. in Chinatown --- my FAVORITE restaurant in the world – Vietnamese Restaurant in on that street!). He gives her various herbs – ones that make her invisible, ones that make her say how she really feels, and ones that will make men fall in love with her. It’s quite a riot! Husbands and Wives is shot primarily on a hand-held and has a documentary feel with its interviews in therapy sessions, etc. It’s all about temptation, and youth, and hope for the perfect partner. I find it difficult to watch, but of course, quite entertaining!


Deconstructing Harry (1997) is also painfully honest. It’s really the first film where Woody declares that it’s a true depiction of his own character, which is, let’s be honest --- scary! He’s a sex crazed lunatic, getting prostitutes and screwing over his wives and messing up his kids. He’s a writer, and his stories come to life. Some of them are ridiculously funny – Robin Williams literally becoming out of focus, Julia Louis Dreyfuss going down on her friend’s husband, Tobey Maguire playing a Woody-esque character, Demi Moore as a devout Jew. Mighty Aphrodite (1995) was also quite fowl in its theme, although I think it to be MUCH more fun! Mira Sorvino is classic in this movie! Woody’s character and his wife (Helena Bonham Carter) adopt a fantastic little boy. Woody is struck by his son’s genius and decides to track down his real mother which leads him to Mira’s character – a prostitute. You can just imagine the hilarity that follows.


Anything Else (2003) and Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) are similar in that they revolve around responsibility-less people with little to do than sit and ponder love and sex. The former stars Christina Ricci and Jason Biggs. My dear friend, Mark, adores this movie because he gets all the esoteric references, but if you’re like me, then they’re going to go way over your head, and what your left with is a trite plot about unhappy couples sleeping with one another in hopes to rekindle life’s passion. In the end, I felt robbed. Vicky on the other hand, Woody’s most recent film, with heartthrob Penelope Cruz, Woody’s beloved Scarlett Johansson, and Javier Bardem, takes us to new places: THREESOMES! Teehee! It’s remarkably classy set in Spain, filled with romance and drama, and just enough Woodyishness to keep me happy.

September (1987) and Another Woman (1988) are two of Woody’s most serious films. September deals with difficult mothers (another theme in his movies), and lost dreams. Mia Farrow and some friends retreat to a summer cottage only to find more heartache and disappointment. Yeah, it’s pretty uplifting, let me tell you. Another Woman, is probably just as happy, but shines much much brighter due to its gorgeous production. Gene Rowland stars as strong-willed woman in a dying marriage with Ian Holm. Gene Hackman stars as well. Relationships starting in adultery often end in adultery. Quite bittersweet, but with Sven Nykvist doing the cinematography, it is worth a look.



I have saved Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) for last because they’re two of my FAV-O-RITE films of all time. No, I did not name my Hannah after Mia's character Hannah, HOWEVER, I did get quite a little thrill out of subtly paying homage to Woody's films by choosing the name. Mia's Hannah has fantastic sisters! Barbara Hershey plays Lee, who's sleeping with Hannah's husband. Hannah's other sister, Holly (Dianne Wiest in an Oscar winning performance), is desperate to land this architect only to be blindsided by her catering best friend played by Carrie Fisher. Holly writes this scathing play to which makes Mickey (Woody Allen), Hannah's ex-husband, fall in love with her. So I gave the whole plot away, who cares, what matters about this film is the fantastic dialogue and the impeccable soundtrack. Truly, one of the greatest EVER! Crimes is much darker, involving a murder plot against the mistress (Angelica Huston) that refuses to go away. It's probably the most fascinating of his films. Alan Alda plays this ridiculous Hollywood producer that says these REDONKULOUS lines: Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Okay, last Woody entry to come: The funny, simple ones.