I’m not gonna lie: I like my name. I was thinking the other day, however, that I’m not really fond of other g beginning names: Gloria, Glenda, Gail, Guinevere, Gidget (is that really a name?). I mean, you can be a perfectly fabulous person with these names, but yeah, as they stand alone, not so good. Could it be that ‘g’ in its essence has lost any hip-happening quality, (or did it EVER have it in the beginning?)?? Is ‘g’ the letter of antiquity?
I am a name snob. It’s true. When the topic of baby names comes up, I do my darnedest to sit quietly and not blurt out my litany of RULES of naming. I’ll just name a few, and offend you all --- MUahahaaaaa!
1. A first and middle name may not end in the same sound
Eg. Gabriella Glenda – no, no, no.
2. The end of the first name and the beginning of the middle name may not be the same sound.
Eg. Gabriella America – ew.
3. If you have twins, you MAY NOT give your children names that rhyme.
Eg. from high school: Lacey and Macy
4. Alternative ways to spell your child’s name, can be interesting, but just know, that they will FOREVER live with no one EVER spelling their name correctly on the first try. It could leave psychological scarring, I’m just saying.
Eg. Instead of Nathan --- Naython. --- Yeah, goodluck.
These are just a few, of my Rules of Naming Manifesto, which all of you may purchase and then delightfully burn on my lawn. It’s cool, I deserve it. I will say, that my children have not heeded my advice closely enough:
Me: What’s your doll’s name, Clementine?
Clem: Shula
Me: Shula?
Clem: Yeah, Shula Shiaya
Me: Wow...that's, clever, but don't you think, it could be-
Clem: NO! It's Shula Shiayaaaa!
Ok, ok...have it your way. I have noted, perhaps inappropriately so, that if you are a person of color, the parameters of naming are much looser. You can often find superfluous, yet charming, uses of the apostrophe, for example.
I will leave you with this, my dear, deeply disgruntled readers: I will shape up the under-loved 'g'. I will claim it be my own (sorry to all of you Gustav's and Gilbert's out there, the g is MINE!). I will cradle it in my arms and whisper the quiet little laws of proper naming. It will understand. It will.
Love,
g.
4 comments:
I have all sorts of naming rules with which I believe you are familiar.
I do like names that offer the option of Gwen as a nickname. I'm also a fan of Genevieve and Gaia (yes, I know its a hippy name). I also will give nods to Gretchen. Would I name my kids these names though? Probably not.
Gretchen is nice. There are a few others...that are ok, but overall, the 'g' is a sad little letter.
Except for Greyson, of COURSE!
Not that you could offend me in the name department... but I do know a Gloria, a Glenda, a Genevieve, Gregory, once knew a Geoff (gag!)
Do you approve of Elsie Maribel then? :)
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