It ruined my morning, pondering about this mess of families. It won't ruin the whole day though.
I believe I will always wonder what happens in their minds. How they make it through their lives without connecting to their family. I mean honestly, how does anyone live without knowing the smiles of C&H?
I have to keep reminding myself that I have made my life what it is without them. I am not dependent on them for anything. I am surrounded by love and joy, and to be honest, my step is lighter and happier, and cozy as can be. Sigh...
5 comments:
god....this is so painful Gabrielle.
You have done an amazing job building a new "family" for yourself. Your strength of spirit and your ability to be light and joyous inspire me. truly
<3
what a lovely thing to say heather, thank you.
it is hard, but to be quite honest, i do go through many days without thinking about them at all. then all of a sudden something like thanksgiving will come around and my brow gets all furrowed. we are resilient beings, and it's amazing what we're able to do.
you too, you know.
it's hard when we have expectations from people and they continually let us down.
you know my story, what I did to change it. still, it's not easy, especially for someone like you that is so hesitant to give up on people. :)
I'm sorry. It's not you, just know that.
I thought C&H was the brand of sugar, that you had finally fallen off the cliff of randomness.
But seriously, you are an exquisite, original, giving person who attracts the devotion of the people you meet/know. You and C&H are better off maintaining distance from people who are unable/unwilling to be consistent. The loss is entirely theirs, so try to focus on breaking that cycle and relishing in the fact that your girls will never want for you.
Best to accept it now and wish for things that are actually possible.
Still, very very sad.
This is long winded but whatever.... I'm having a rare moment of being able to comment. The network error happens with blogspot a lot for me now. I don't know if it is them or work or whatnot but it is irritating :)
I've read this entry a 100 times and never been able to say a word.
I'm sorry that these lack of relationships cast a long shadow over your life. You know I believe every word your wonderful, supportive friend-family has left for your word.
I am sorry that your mom will miss out on the delight of your girls! Because you are a wonderful person/mom and have touched so many lives your girls will not miss out on the love of family even if it is't the specific love you want for them.
I can only begin to know what is going on in your head with any self blaming for the relationship as it stands today but as you've commented you have reached out, you have provided the avenues. You can only do so much.
This notion that blood makes us compatible has alway struck me as odd (even if I have grown close to my family as an adult)
I so truly love you will all my heart!!!
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