So today is B's birthday. I feel all warm and fuzzy about it too, because she's so fantastic! To follow Chey's lovely lead, I put 'birthday girl: xoxox', and suddenly my mom popped on gmail chat with this note: i know it was your birthday. i thought about you all day. love you. Then she immediately signed off.
About five months ago, I saw her on gmail chat, and immediately tried to talk with her. Hi. How are you? It's been a long time. I miss you. The girls do too. She got on and said, Can't talk now, but I love you too. That's it. Two months later, I sent her a postcard to my show. It had my email address, my real address, and my phone number (all of which she has, but you know, in case she lost it??).
Yeah, this story isn't uplifting. Why? Why? Why? Why can't I get over that my mother and brother want nothing to do with me? When the time is right, she WILL contact me, and apologize or EVERYTHinG under ths sun, including the economy and pink toilet paper, and Bratz dolls. She will overwhelm me with sorrys until my heart will explode and I will invite her back in. This WILL happen again though.
To think she's only met Clementine the one time. To think that she lives off of Center Street. To think it all, it's just heartcrushing.
7 comments:
It is heartbreaking. Your daughters deserve 2 great grandmothers. And you deserve an excellent mother.
If she's responsible for Bratz, honey...just let it be, ;D
"Why can't I get over that my mother and brother want nothing to do with me?" Because they are your mother and brother. They are people you love and want in your life. Megan's right: You deserve them. :)
...to be wonderful to you (I should add)... :)
we all deserve a great family. many people are much much worse off. the melancholy that comes in and out of my life over this does haunt me.
at the end of the day, i know i have done what i can to invite them into my life and they themselves are broken, and are choosing to let it stay that way.
it's just so bizarre!
I, too, have a father and brother out there in the mist somewhere. I wonder, do they think of me? do my nephews even know that I ever existed, do they keep pictures of me, do they remember me on my birthday, miss me on holidays? I often go months and months without even thinking about them, and then suddenly I will be reminded...oh yeah, technically I am an Uncle?!?!? Weird. . .
Luckily, in life we are not limited only to those with whom we share certain genetic markers, rather we can and do surround ourselves everyday with the family that we choose for ourselves (like Joan Crawford always said "adopted children are luckiest, because they were chosen"). And the love and compassion, loyalty, empathy, time and consideration we share with each other is no less real or meaningful than if we were bonded together by blood.
There is no excuse good enough or apology big enough for Bratz Dolls!
Post a Comment